Independence in a Day

I didn’t really know what to title this post. All I know is that Joakim grew incredibly more independent in just one day.

Niklas was out of town. I’d left Linnea and Mattias home alone while I walked Joakim ten minutes down to his carpool. But as we were walking there, they had to cancel. It was too late for us to get the other kids and make it to practice on time.

We had just approached a bus stop when we got the call and I asked Joakim if he thought he could take the bus by himself. As luck would have it, I had grabbed my purse on our way out the door so I actually had money and could pay for the bus. After a long moment’s hesitation, he said “sure”, but he wanted me to go get the other kids and bring them to practice so we could all ride home together.

Agreed.

But then, while we were waiting for the bus, he said, “it’s OK mom, I can take the bus home by myself.”

I didn’t know what to do. I was there to get him on the bus and he knew where to get off. But after practice, would he be able to walk to the bus stop, get on, pay his fare and then know which stop to get off all alone?

Maybe I was lazy, because deep down, I didn’t want to deal with dragging the other two kids kicking and screaming out of the house, to the bus, over to practice, back on the bus, then home to cook dinner more than I wanted to mother and protect my eldest. Isn’t that awful?

Or maybe, I was so inspired by the Masai from our trip to Kenya, that I thought, this is an opportunity, as scary as it is, to stop the talk, and walk the walk.

It was probably a bit of both. I put him on the bus alone and said, “I’ll see you at home.”

Of course, I was a nervous wreck the whole time and waited down at the bus stop for his arrival.

Wow, look at that smile on his face! He was incredibly proud and thrilled to have overcome his fears.  He was so wired from that exhilarating experience that he was bouncing off the walls and had a hard time getting to sleep. There must have been copious amounts of adrenaline pumping through his veins as he navigated that journey alone.

That’s where selfconfidence comes from. Learning that you can do things you didn’t think possible; overcoming your fears. He was so empowered, he now takes the bus by himself to and/or from practice at least once a week.

But now look at this kid. Did he age a decade in a day or what?!?

He’s found a new power and strength in himself. That doesn’t always work well when you are 8 and your parents still want you to do things that you don’t want to do. We’ve had some clashes, but overall, it was a great experience and I’m glad I trusted him, the people of Norway, and just “that it would work out”.

He’s growing up so fast anyway, but this truly was an independence-in-a-day experience — for both of us.

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